The Town With No Beer
Put down that baby and lend me your ear
I’ve a tale of great grief and sorrow
‘Bout a town with a grey cloud hovering over
It’s todays just like it’s tomorrows
Pinole was a place of cheap spirits and ale
With it’s pubs all staying open til’ two
Their patrons were merry, unshaven and broken
Their teeth were all rotted clear through
On September 11th, in the year of the serpent
The rain fell in sheets of wet anger
Some townsfolk took shelter in a dingy ol’ tavern
With a sign that glowed like a green lantern
Smoking, the “F” word, a jukebox and mullets
Awaited all those in retreat
The sounds of the soggy, the tired and drunken
Drown the sound of the rain meeting street
The tap had been running non-stop for an hour
The keg began sputtering white
So Jeffrey sent Timmy, who sent old MacGregor
To go to the back and see why
MacGregor, he lifted his arse from his chair
His demeanor arthritic and doomed
With a huff and a grumble, he shuffled on back
To the dripping and dismal keg room
As he open the door he could smell all the years
The floor had been catching lost beer
A rat in a hurry, squeaked as he scurried
Down from a shelf out of fear
So MacGregor began to examine the keg
By proceeding to fidget it’s nozzle
He lifted and pulled the hose end right off
And air hissed out of the spout hole
MacGregor, his eyes, they grew very wide
His mouth started twitching and twisting
He grabbed at his heart with a stiff, quaking hand
And cried out as if he was dying...
“THERE’S NO MORE FUCKING BEER!”
In the town with no beer
The worries are near
and the beer truck is stuck in the rain
Yes, the worries are near
and we wish they weren’t here
Cos the worries, they cause us great pain
Yes, the worries the cause us great pain